Bat out of Hogwarts
by LM Ryder aka The Lethal Weapon
Summary: a short story i wrote after trying to write alternate lyrics to the Meatloaf song Bat out of Hell, and Livin on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. I haven't included the Bon Jovi one because it's not finished yet... it's not completely in the same realm as my other fanfics though it is a SS/MMcG pairing
1. Chapter 1

Like a bat out of Hogwarts

Severus Snape, 38, headmaster of Hogwarts, former Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher lay in the Shrieking Shack covered in blood from a snake bite. There was a meow from somewhere nearby… a faint pop made Severus open his eyes wide, Minerva was with him now

"Sev what happened?" she cried leaning over and kissing him soundly on the lips  
"Nagini" he croaked

"I'm on it" Minerva cried  
"I've used a bezoar but I don't know if it will help, after what happened last time"

"Sev you have to be kidding me!"

"I don't think I am Minerva"  
"you can't leave me!"

"I don't want to love, believe me"

"you're not going to leave me Sev, not if I can help it..."

Inspiration struck Minerva between the eyes, she yelled

"EXPECTO PATRONUM! Poppy I need you in the shrieking shack, NOW Sev is seriously injured!" the three silver cats left and went back to the castle…less than ten minutes later, Poppy was there, tending to Severus…

"are we too late?"  
"no but he's lost a lot of blood, we'll need to get him to the infirmary at once."

"DAD!"

"Harry, Draco, be careful"  
"come on you two, help us"

Harry ran down the stairs and yelled "BOMBARDA MAXIMA!"

He carved a huge hole in the wall with his wand. Minerva had conjured a stretcher and was now hovering Severus on it with a levitation charm.

They hurtled through the battle, ducking every few feet. "PROTEGO MAXIMA!" Harry yelled and cast a shield charm around them. Draco was pale and he looked worried, if his father died then he had no family…

"hang on Sev just hang on! please" Minerva wailed, she was crying unrestrictedly now, her hand still holding Severus's…" they came face to face with Dumbledore and his minions in the midst of the battle… Harry found that he was suddenly furious.

"SECTUMSEMPRA!" yelled Harry pointing his wand into the face of Rodolphus Lestrange,

Lestrange flew backwards and hit the Whomping Willow, the tree started hitting him violently

"come on"

"how are we going to get dad to the infirmary?"  
"leave that to me" said Madam Pomfrey

Remus and Madam Pomfrey hooked up a sling between two brooms, it was big enough and secure enough to transport Dad in. Professor McGonagall transformed into her tabby form and curled up on Dad's chest. Fawkes the Phoenix flew onto the stretcher and sat beside dad's ear, Minerva glared at him… her feline instincts were taking over

"Phoenix tears have healing powers!" said Draco reaching out to scratch Minerva's ears.

"of course come on we have to get Dad to the Infirmary"

Madam Pomfrey had apparated ahead of us – the wards – all of them had fallen.

Madam Pomfrey opened the window and spelled it wider so that we could fit through.

Minerva's Viewpoint

"how are you feeling Severus?"  
"much better"

"it will take a while to get your full voice back – that damnable snake did a lot of damage"  
"fortunately I had already taken the bezoar from my pocket and put it between my teeth before she bit me."  
"you look tired"  
"I am exhausted"  
"go back to sleep then"  
"I've done nothing but sleep for the past three months, I think I'd like to take a walk"  
"all right but I'm taking you in this chair"  
"ok. We need to talk anyway Minerva"  
"what do you mean?"  
"I need to talk to you about something"

"ok"

When we were out on the grounds, I summoned a house-elf to bring us a picnic. We sat under Lily's favourite tree to eat. Harry and Draco were racing each other around the quidditch pitch.

"Minerva, I do not want to be headmaster anymore, I want to go back to teaching"  
"really?"  
"yes but I also want to take a very long vacation... just the four of us..."  
"ok"  
"why don't we go to Florida"  
"good idea, we could spend a week in Florida, a week in New York a week in Houston and a week in Hollywood"  
"yeah, once I'm feeling better, I wouldn't mind doing a short drama course at RADA"  
"really?"  
"yes, I think it would certainly help my teaching"  
"I'll see what I can do"

Severus's viewpoint

Before we went on our month long vacation, Minerva surprised me with concert tickets.

"we're going to see MeatLoaf?"

"yes"

"brilliant... you got backstage passes!"  
"yes I did... now you can show him the alternate lyrics you wrote to bat out of hell"

"like a bat out of Hogwarts?"  
"yeah"

When we went backstage, I showed Meat the alternative lyrics and he laughed, he got a guitar and he said "lets try this..."

"like a bat out of Hogwarts I'll be gone when the morning comes. At the side of the dark lord, like a bat out of Hogwarts I'll be gone gone gone like a bat out of Hogwarts I'll be gone when the morning comes it's only crazy Gryffindors who are fool enough to try to stick around when all kinds of hell go down. Like their quidditch team in the school cup final they'll say things are never fair"

Minerva wasn't exactly happy with those lyrics. I would sing it just to annoy her sometimes and her glares she gave me looked like they would scorch the floor! When we got to New York she was so fed up with Harry Draco and I singing that song that she hexed the three of us! so to say sorry for bugging her we took her to see Bon Jovi and we had a blast on the way back to the hotel writing our own lyrics to Livin On A Prayer... when we got home and The Dark Lord found out that we wrote alternate lyrics to his favourite Bon Jovi song... he insisted we perform it for him...


	2. author's note - sorry

Author's note PLEASE READ

As much as it pains me to do this, I realised that I have made an ALMIGHTY plot error in one of the Harry Potter stories I was writing... the mistake I have made has a major impact on the rest of the series so I have for now pulled Justice is Balance, True Colours and Natasha Riddle and the truth secrets and lies of Hogwarts and Harry Potter and the veil of truth. I will completely rewrite all of the titles but they will all be under one title the twist of fate series (ironically I borrowed twist of fate from a wrestler I used to respect)

As for the Natasha Riddle series... after I completely rewrite it I am going to put it back up as the sequel to the twist of fate series. Sorry to disappoint my loyal readers but that plot error means that I have to completely rewrite Harry Potter and the Veil of Truth... I am glad I noticed it now before we got any further into the story...

Sorry, I will repost the first chapter of True colours once I finish the entire story and that will be some time next month I am afraid.

L.M.R.


End file.
